Through Joanne's Eyes
by VioletStella
Summary: A few of Joanne Parker's thoughts at the end of "Two On a Billboard".


Joanne smirked as she watched Tony carefully escort Angela down the ladder from the billboard, his hands firmly placed on her hips. She wondered just exactly who they thought they were kidding; she certainly wasn't fooled by their protestations of innocence in their relationship, she never had been. The voters for Parents' Association President may have fallen for their act, but she hadn't and she'd never forgiven that loss.

Having arrived bright and early this morning, she was only a little surprised when, from a distance, she saw Angela up on that billboard with Tony. They looked so cozy all snuggled up in that sleeping bag together. The only detail that surprised her was that they hadn't covered their tracks better. Wouldn't they have had a little more privacy in the tent? And just where was the tent anyway? Did they accidentally knock it off in a frenzy of passionate kissing? One would think that the last thing either of them wanted was an example that anyone in the neighborhood could point to as proof of an illicit liaison. Joanne had taken triumphant satisfaction at catching them in such an unguarded moment, in her mind this was just as good as catching them in the act. It also took some of the sting out of Mona's scathing sneer at her yesterday, of course a woman like Mona would cover for her daughter and her paramour. What else would she do? It was so obvious.

Joanne's thoughts kept percolating as she watched them together. Why did Angela even go to the billboard? Was one night apart too much for them? Angela couldn't take being apart for two nights? Wasn't it a little chilly last night for an outdoor romantic rendezvous? Although she doubted either one noticed the cold as they were probably quite well versed in keeping each other warm by now. She couldn't come to any satisfactory conclusion as to why Angela didn't leave before anyone could catch them alone together...on a billboard. This didn't seem like a romantic place for a tryst to Joanne, but with the flaunting of social conventions these two were already engaged in, a fling on a billboard would be just the icing on the cake.

Idly, Joanne wondered if Angela brought along the "Kama Sutra" to supplement Tony's reading material because she certainly didn't believe Tony was wasting his time reading "Moby Dick" or "Romeo and Juliet" when Angela was around. Unless they were reading passages of "Romeo and Juliet" to each other as some sort of overly dramatic foreplay. Oh, she could just see that, the two of them gazing longingly into each other's eyes, reciting Shakespeare. Under the stars on the billboard would be a good setting for their own balcony scene.

Having recently studied this scene with her daughter for her English class, the words were fresh in her thoughts. In her mind she saw Angela reading to Tony:

"Thou knowest the mask of night is on my face,  
Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek  
For that which thou hast heard me speak tonight.  
Fain would I dwell on form; fain, fain deny  
What I have spoke. But farewell compliment.  
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay',  
And I will take thy word. Yet, if thou swear'st,  
Thou mayst prove false. At lovers' perjuries,  
They say, Jove laughs. O gentle Romeo,  
If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully..."

Joanne rolled her eyes at the thought of Angela being quaint enough to even try to produce a maiden's blush; she'd probably have to restrain herself from jumping Tony instead.

The scene continued as Tony took over in her mind:

"Lady, by yonder blessed moon I vow,  
That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops."

And of course Angela would answer:

"O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,  
That monthly changes in her circled orb,  
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable."

Then there was Tony, begging Angela for an answer:

"What shall I swear by?"

She could see Angela leaning in to whisper a balm to her lover's heart:

"Do not swear at all.  
Or if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,  
Which is the god of my idolatry,  
And I'll believe thee."

Joanne crossed her arms and nodded; she had no doubt Angela and Tony used kisses as substitutes for swearing with words. After all, it was obvious to everyone in the neighborhood that Angela idolized Tony, it was blatant to anyone who looked in her eyes. She even saw it yesterday as Angela watched Tony on tv; behind the glare Angela shot her way she saw the infatuation. Joanne remembered the seeing Angela's fear too; in the way she tensed up when Tony was offered a better job. Joanne was shocked when Tony turned that job down. Just the fact that he turned it down was enough to confirm everything she'd always thought about them no matter how coy they tried to be. How could he say no to a great job in Washington to remain Angela's housekeeper? It boggled the mind.

Another short exchange from later in the scene flitted across Joanne's mind; she wondered if they pulled away from each other long enough to throw a little more fuel onto the flames of passion with these words; she could just see Angela turning away long enough to give Tony a chance to say:

"O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"

Joanne rolled her eyes at the image in her mind; Tony eagerly pleading with his so-called maiden, Angela playing along with their little drama to increase the flirtation. She could just see Angela batting her eyes as she quoted Juliet's words:

"What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?"

"Ha!" Joanne's mind scoffed, any satisfaction he wanted, she was sure, no matter how unpromising the setting. Then Tony, intently focused on Angela, would sneak in one last line of Romeo's:

"The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine."

Joanne was positive that what followed next was an exchange of much more than love's faithful vows. She knew from experience that sleeping bags could be quite accommodating. Oh, they just though they were so cute, those two, pretending nothing was going on. She stamped her foot in futile protest to this little game they were playing. Just how many years did they plan on keeping up this charade?

Joanne shook her head watched the reunion of Tony and Angela with the kids and Mona. They hugged like they hadn't seen each other in years, it was so overly demonstrative it was almost unseemly. Didn't they know they were in public, and on camera? Did they just not care anymore? Had they accepted that they had been found out and were finally acknowledging the truth?

What was the word she just heard Tony use? Family? Did he just say something to the effect of 'never letting go of this family'? Or did he say 'his family'? Either way, she found his choice of the word 'family' quite telling.

Joanne grinned an evilly triumphant smile; she couldn't wait for today's weekly get together with some of the neighborhood mothers and drop this latest news in what they had termed, "The Not-So-Secret Passion of Angela Bower File" onto their willing and eager ears. Joanne turned to leave, thinking that if this was the way they wanted to play it, fine; they could pretend all they wanted, but she saw the truth and now she had ample evidence to be the queen bee of gossip about them for months. She hadn't been too enthusiastic about Tony's idea for a reading campaign at the outset; but as it turned out so well for her, she couldn't help but take some smug satisfaction out of it. As she made her way to her car she silently thanked Tony for moving to Connecticut in the first place and providing her with endless hours of speculative fun.


End file.
